Monday, August 20, 2007

Spiders and Witches and Fast Cars ...Oh my!

Yes, I am watching "The Covenant." It is beyond tacky, yet I can't turn it off.

Synopsis of Favorite Scene Number One:

Crazy witch boy makes super hot girl (Kate) get attacked by poisonous spiders. Kate's boyfriend, super hot boy I will refer to as Ab-tastic, comes to rescue her . You see, Crazy Witch Boy was left out of the sacred little witch club, and he's not only pissed, but yes, he's back with a vengeance! To make his point, he kills random students, stalks the ladies in the showers, and sicks venomous spiders on them, thus making them the sacrificial lambs of the original boys in the witch club. Obviously, this is creativity at its best, and the dialogue is, well, read it for yourself.

Ab-tastic: You better not kill, Kate! Or, I'll KILL you!!!!!!!

(big scary music, followed by Crazy Witch Boy's eyes turning bright orange for a split second, signalling that yes, he is indeed a true son of Ipswich! AAAHHHHH!)

Crazy Witch Boy: So, you've come to save Little Miss Muffet (get it? she was attacked my spiders!)? Well, you're TOO LATE! Ah! HA HA!!!!

It's short and sweet, but you get the point.

Another favorite scene includes the bad boy of the Witch Club that I like to call Draco Malfoy because he looks EXACTLY like Tom Felton from the HP movies. Draco uses his magical powers to make his SUV disappear from the police as he drives it off a cliff. As his eyes turn black signalling that he is in witch/power mode, Draco slams on the gas and yells, "Harry Potter can kiss my ass!"

Yes, it's silly and a bit cheap, considering that Harry is THE ultimate boy wizard, but when you see the eerie resemblance between the two actors, it's actually a bit clever. Well, maybe not.

And then there are the deep moments, when the incredibly hot Steven Strait (playing the part of Caleb Danvers, the first of the witch club to ascend) explains the witch phenomenom to his beautiful Sara...

Caleb: When you're thirteen you get a taste of the power. At eighteen, we fully ascend, and our powers fully mature. And it's (deep sigh) seductive! And some can handle it, and others, like my father (another big sigh) ... when one ascends, the power ages you. You whittle away ... and DIE!

It's so tacky even the music is cheesy, but why am I still watching? Because everyone, including the girls, are incredibly hot! Sometimes it's fun to watch a bunch of goodlooking people with no wrinkles or imperfections prance around in prep school clothes, drive fast sports cars, and kiss in the moonlight before going to meet at the Putnam Barn for some good old witch fighting!

Clearly, I am in need of some good network television shows. Thankfully, they'll all be back in a month. In fact, my BFF and I created a spreadsheet for our fall TV lineup listing the networks, time slots, and premiere dates. I can't wait for September!

With the book I'm trying to write, lesson plans I'm supposed to be working on for my new little job, miles I'm supposed to be running in order to decrease the size of my ass, books I should be reading, house I'm supposed to be cleaning, and oh yes, the children I'm supposed to be raising, I shouldn't be so concerned with mindless movies and television dramas. But, I need these things to help me write! It's not about procrastination, people! It's about the creativity! Duh!

Today, my Big Girl had her first weepy day of first grade. Everything was fine until she was at gymnastics after school, and right in the middle of class, she just started weeping about her wrist that was in "intense" pain. I have been warned by everyone to expect a first grader to be weepy, whiny, moody, etc. during the first few weeks, but I hope this doesn't happen often. With our recent move, it is hard for me to believe she's only dealing with the adjustment of being at school all day, which makes me worry even more about her, and then who do you think ends up crying? Me. I don't mind crying, but the two of us walking around here crying at the same time is not a good thing.

On a bright note: the Little Man met his preschool teacher today and loved her. He also saw his classroom and enjoyed getting acquainted with all the manipulatives, but when asked what his favorite thing was, he mumbled something about the teacher being "really pretty." At least something made a lasting impression on him!

Before I go, I have to ask a favor: I'm in search of nicknames. I need funny ones that high school guys use when referring to their friends. So far, I have Sasquatch for the Hairy friend. Any ideas?

Miles I ran today: NONE! I'll save that for tomorrow. Maybe.
What I'm reading: The Outsiders (for middle school lesson plans) and The Book Thief

1 comment:

debyz said...

waitin on PRISON BREAK!!!!